ICHIGO: The User's Manual
by Enjie Yekcam
Summary: CONGRADULATIONS! You are now the proud owner of an ICHIGO MOMOMIYA. To be sure that she is working in tip-top saving-the-world condition, allow yourself to read and listen to this manual.
1. ICHIGO

**Brought to you by: Tokyo Mew Mew Mia Industries.**

**_CONGRADULATIONS! You are now the proud owner of an ICHIGO MOMOMIYA. To be sure that she is working in tip-top saving-the-world condition, allow yourself to read and listen to this manual._**

**INFORMATION YOU MIGHT WANT TO KNOW:**

**Name: **Ichigo Momomiya

**Race: **Japanese, Half Iriomote Cat

**Height: **5'4

**Weight: **I'd tell you, but she'd Chekku me.

**PUTTING HER TOGETHER:**

You should have gotten a package from Tokyo Mew Mew Mia Industries (T.M.M.M.I). Don't freak out. Your ICHIGO MOMOMIYA is fine. She's just sleeping in the box. She IS half cat you know.

1) Open up the box

2) Lay out cat nip on the floor, five feet away from the box.

3) Bark like a dog to get the ICHIGO up.

4) If everything goes according to plans, she should jump out of the box and do some weird stuff with the cat nip. She'll then associate you with OWNER.

**COOL THINGS YOUR ICHIGO COMES WITH:**

Scared that you're going to have to buy something for her to play with? I don't think so.

1) Ball of yarn (We recommend that you use this for knitting, as ICHIGO'S have a weird way of making their balls their confidents, and that needs to be you if you want your ICHIGO to live a successful life.)

2) A Mew Mew costume

3) A Bell-Bell (complete with tracker is pesky KISH'S want to snuggle)

4) Three or four sets of clothing for out door use

5) A school uniform

6) A work uniform

**YOUR ICHGO IS BUILT FOR:**

**Body Guard: **You wouldn't think it, but even if she isn't in her Mew work-time, she packs a powerful punch, a great right hook, and can fight like a tiger.

**Lover: **Are you one of those sick boys that like to read girl manga and stare at all the girls in it? This ICHIGO is right for you then!

**Shopper: **ICHIGO is a wonderful shopper; she'll have you in style with less then half a CHEKKU

**Adrenaline Booster: **ICHIGO has a bad history of causing trouble. She can cause you to have bursts of energy trying to gain powers so you can get her out of the sticky spots. (We recommend getting a KISSHU to solve this problem.)

**Confidence Builder: **Though she causes trouble, she's a really sweet person inside, and she can have her soft moments and help you through some tough times.

**HOW SHE ACTS WITH OTHER UNITS:**

**MINTO: **Can be COMPATIBLE at times, but she's mostly UNCOMPATIBLE because MINTO'S have histories of being meanies.

**RETASU: **COMPATIBLE RETASU'S are shy, so she's a god friend for ICHGIO'S

**PURIN: **Can be COMPATIBLE, but if PURIN does too many tricks, she can be annoying.

**ZAKURO: **ICHIGO'S are under the impression that ZAKURO'S are depressed, so they try to get her out of depressions. It depends on the mood ZAKURO'S in.

**MASAYA: WARNING! WARNING! TOXIC WASTE! KEEP AS FAW AWAY AS POSSIBLE! RESTRAINING ORDER MIGHT BE NEEDED.**

**RYOU: **Is okay with, but can become VERY COMPATIBLE if you lock them in a room with only one bed and one bathroom.

**KISSHU: **VERY COMPATIBLE! But your ICHIGO might need a little encouragement. I suggest locking them into the closet.

**KEIICHIRO: **He's ICHIGO'S boss sort. What would you think?

**PAI: **We suggest leaving him to his counting….

**TARUTO: **He's not very COMPATIBLE, so you should give him a PURIN to settle his hormones down.

**TROUBLESHOOTING AND FAQ:**

Q) I put my ICHGO together all the way, but she's got a hand that you can see through. What can I do?

A) Just hire an Authoress to get that done over. Unless you ARE one, they wouldn't cost much.

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Q) There's something wrong. I thought my ICHIGO'S attitude was all the things said in the **YOUR ICHGO IS BUILT FOR, **but mine is all different. She's preppy all the time, and she's got a low squeaky voice, and she always says "ZOEY BELL BELL!"

A) **BURN THAT ICHIGO NOW! SHE HAS BEEN IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER LOCATED AND DUBBED BY 4KIDS ENTERTAINMENT! **We give people a new ICHIGO after this has happened, and a chance to sue the 4Kids company.

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Q) HELP! ICHIGO HAS LOST HER BELL-BELL! NOW SHE CAN'T FIGHT CHIREMALS!

A) Don't be troubled, that's what the tracker on the Bell-Bell is for.

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Q) Something's wrong with my ICHIGO and MINTO! They're, "doing" things!

A) DIDN'T I TELL YOU THAT MINTO AND ICHIGO WERE NOT COMPATIBLE!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? Ahem, anyway, you can 1: Get a KISSHU and give it to ICHIGO or 2: Get rid of the MINTO.

**WARRANTY:**

_**This clarifies that your ICHIGO can be brought back within forty days of purchase, but we will be checking her to make sure nothing was messed up that wasn't already messed up.**_

HAVE FUN WITH YOUR ICHGO!

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Well, the next chapter is MINTO, so please review!

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TMM, but I own T.M.M.M.I


	2. MINTO

**Brought to you by: Tokyo Mew Mew Mia Industries.**

**_CONGRADULATIONS! You are now the proud owner of an MINTO AIZAWA. To be sure that she is working in tip-top saving-the-world condition, allow yourself to read and listen to this manual._**

**INFORMATION YOU MIGHT WANT TO KNOW:**

**Name: **Minto Aizawa

**Race: **Japanese, Half Tahiti Blue Lorikeet

**Height: **5'4

**Weight: **You wanna know? I can't tell you. My MINTO bribed me. ((grows money signs on her eyes))

**PUTTING HER TOGETHER:**

You should have gotten a cage covered by a blanket that's been staples down from Tokyo Mew Mew Mia Industries (T.M.M.M.I). Don't go ballistic. Your MINTO AIZAWA is alright. She's just drinking tea in the bird cage. She IS half bird you know.

1) Remove staples from blanket

2) Pull the blanket up.

3) If your MINTO is working properly, then she should shun you. You need to prove to her that you can be cool.

4) Place a cup of green tea and a new kimono out beside the cage. She climb out and drink the tea, put on the kimono, then realize that you're her OWNER.

**COOL THINGS YOUR MINTO COMES WITH:**

Scared that you're going to have to buy something for her to keep company with? Think again. Here are thing that come with your MINTO so she'll be set for all those hours you're spending at work (or dancing, but she'd ECHO you for that)

1) Dancing shoes

2) A Mew Mew costume

3) A bow and arrow (for pesky KISHHUS that try to snuggle with undeserving/unwanted ICHIGOS)

4) Three or four sets of clothing for out door use

5) A dance uniform

6) A work uniform

7) Green Tea Leaf bags

**YOUR MINTO IS BUILT FOR:**

**Sarcastic Friend: **Down in the dumps? Did your KISHHU malfunction and now he's in a MUCH better place? Did your RETASU and RYOU get together and you didn't want that to happen? Well MINTO is just the unit to help you through it!

**Helper: **Okay, so she drinks tea more than she helps, but at least she tries! (if you want your MINTO to have more working-time, might we suggest that you cancel all her dance classes and take away her tea? WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR LOSS OF MINTO AIZAWA DURING THIS ROUGH TIME IN HER LIFE, IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE IS DEPRIVED OF EVERYTHING SHE HAD IN HER LIFE! HOW COULD YOU BE SO CRUEL?)

**Shopper: **ICHIGO might be a wonderful shopper, but MINTO has the money AND fashion for it! Say this with me, SHOPPING SPREE! OHMIGOD!

**Adrenaline Settler: **ICHIGO has a bad history of causing trouble. She can cause you to have bursts of energy trying to gain powers so you can get her out of the sticky spots. MINTO can get ICHIGO out of those spots better than YOU ever could, so just leave it to her.

**Confidence Builder: **Though she's sarcastic, she's really kind inside, and she can have her soft moments and help you through some tough times.

**HOW SHE ACTS WITH OTHER UNITS:**

**ICHIGO: **Can be COMPATIBLE at times, but she's mostly UNCOMPATIBLE because ICHIGO'S have histories of being wusses.

**RETASU: **COMPATIBLE RETASU'S are shy, so she's very good person to be sarcastic to, because she won't fight back.

**PURIN: **Can be COMPATIBLE, but if PURIN does too many tricks, she can be annoying.

**ZAKURO:** MINTO'S LOVE ZAKURO'S. THEY ARE VERY COMPATIBLE

**MASAYA: MINTO labels MASAYA as a vacuum cleaner because he SUCKS.**

**RYOU: **Is okay with, but is not someone you'd want to lock in a room with only one bed and one bathroom.

**KISSHU: **Can be used as punching bag, if snuggles too closely to ICHIGO'S

**KEIICHIRO: **He's MINTO'S boss sort of. What would you think?

**PAI: **We suggest leaving him to his counting….

**TARUTO: **He's not very COMPATIBLE, so you should give him a PURIN to settle his hormones down.

**TROUBLESHOOTING AND FAQ:**

Q) Why is my MINTO'S hair purple? I've had her for a month, and she's gone from bad to worse.

A) Do you have a ZAKURO unit? If so, your MINTO may be turning Shonjo-ai (I hope I spelled that right). I suggest you tie your MINTO to a chair and glue her eyes open then put on a rated NC-17 movie. That should fix your MINTO! (T.M.M.M.I IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR MINTO TO START TO TURN HORNY. USE AT YOUR OWN RISK)

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Q) My MINTO is not sarcastic, she doesn't slap anyone, and she's not a "meanie" to put it in ICHIGO'S terms. What happened, and how can I fix it?

A) What happened was 4Kids has found your MINTO and turned her into a nice CORINA BUCKSWORTH. Watch her for a while, and if she starts calling ICHIGO'S ZOEY or PURIN'S KIKI then you should do one of the following: 1: Take her and make her watch TMM all over again from the beginning, or if that doesn't work, you could 2: get her a new one. If you REALLY want this to work, then you can 3: Wait until Amme Moto's Tokyo Mew Mew Twilight Zone or whatever it's called so she can finally find the antidote.

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Q) What should I do if I want my KEIICHIRO and my MINTO together?

A) I don't have the slightest clue WHY someone would pair MINTO with KEIICHRO, but you could keep setting them together "accidentally", and sooner or later SOMETHING will happen! (T.M.M.I IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR LOSS OF KEIICHIRO IF HIS HAPPENS!)

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Q) Is it possible to put my ICHIGO and MINTO together?

A) Say this with me: **MINTO AND ICHIGO ARE NOT COMPATIBLE MOST OF THE TIME. **But I suppose you'd just do the same thing as with the KEIICHIRO.

**WARRANTY:**

**_This clarifies that your MINTO can only be brought back when you think she's been turned into a CORINA BUCKSWORTH. But even then all we can do is burn her and then give you a coupon to buy another one._**

HAVE FUN WITH YOUR MINTO!

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Well, the next chapter is KISHHU, so please review!

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TMM, but I own T.M.M.M.I


	3. KISSHU

**Brought to you by: Tokyo Mew Mew Mia Industries.**

**_CONGRADULATIONS! You are now the proud owner of an KISSHU. To be sure that she is working in tip-top saving-the-world condition, allow yourself to read and listen to this manual._**

**INFORMATION YOU MIGHT WANT TO KNOW:**

**Name: **Kisshu Whatever-His-Last-Name-Is

**Race: **Full Bread Alien

**Height: **5'13 ( :D )

**Weight: **It's—AHHHHH! ((gets attacked by her KISSHU))

**PUTTING HIM TOGETHER:**

You should have gotten a KISSHU tied up and gagged from Tokyo Mew Mew Mia Industries (T.M.M.M.I). Don't go call us with suit threats. Your KISSHU is fine. He's just hyperventilating/sleeping. He IS an alien who needs beauty sleep you know.

1) Remove gag (NOTE: You're KISSHU might get angry if he's awake and shout mean nasty things at you, not our fault, you should have knocked him out first, though that wasn't in the instructions. HAHA)

2) Use large blade to cut the rope from afar.

3) BEFORE you KISSHU strangles you for hog-tying him, tell him that if he doesn't kill you he can have an ICHIGO. (NOT OUR FAULT IF YOUR KISSHU GETS FRISKY/HORNY)

**COOL THINGS YOUR KISSHU COMES WITH:**

Scared that you're going to have to buy something for KISSHU to stay amused with? Think again. Here are things that come with your KISSHU'S come with so he'll be set for all those hours you're spending at work.

1) Whip

2) Rope

3) Set of knives

4) Handcuffs

5) Romantic Music

6) 1,000,000.00 for his ICHIGO

7) The latest edition of Mario Cart (WE DON'T OWN THAT!)

8) Bazooka (we'll let you name them)

**YOUR KISSHU IS BUILT FOR:**

**Lover: **Do you have the guts to pull this off? The determination? The body? The five bucks to your local All-Powerful-Authoress to take you out of those cliffs that you might get thrown down? If so, then you're crazy, and KISSHU will be a good lover.

**Therapist: **If he really cares, and there's a humping of ICHIGO after it, then he'll help you through some tough times in your life.

**Annoyance: **If you don't like to be annoyed, and you have a lot of work all the time, KISSHU will bug you so much you'll go crazy and do anything he tells you to just to get him away

**HOW HE ACTS WITH OTHER UNITS:**

**ICHIGO: **COMPATIBLE all the time, even when ICHIGO is being stupid and is going out with MASAYAS, or even a RYOU.

**RETASU: **COMPATIBLE because RETASU is PAI'S lover. I wouldn't bug her either…. PAI might count me to death

**PURIN: **Leave her to TARUTO, that's our advice. (WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR KISSHU TO BECOME DISTURBED BY SEEING PURIN AND TARUTO TOGETHER, IT'S YOUR FAULT FOR NOT TAKNG THE PROPER STEPS, WEATHER YOU KNOW THEM OR NOT! (which you better not know them, because I haven't written them yet,))

**ZAKURO:** NOT COMPATIBLE AT ALL! SHE'S ANNOYING AND WILL LOVE ANYONE WHO GIVES HER ADVICE!

**MASAYA: WHAT DO YOU THINK? IF YOU'RE STUPID ENOUGH TO HAVE A MASAYA, THEN WE SUGGEST KILLING HIM BEFORE YOU WAKE UP ONE DAY AND SEE BLUE BLOOD ALL OVER YOUR PALACE, OR CARDBOAD BOX, OR WHATEVER IT IS YHOU LIVE IN.**

**RYOU: **He loved ICHIGO, what do you think? DING! TIME'S UP! NOT COMPATIBLE!

**MINTO: **Can be used as a toy when KISSHU is very bored and ICHIGO has turned him down again.

**KEIICHIRO: **He's annoying, but he's COMPATIBLE because we like the way he cooks.

**PAI: **We suggest leaving him to his counting….

**TARUTO: **He's COMPATIBLE, but you should give him a PURIN to keep him occupied.

**TROUBLESHOOTING AND FAQ:**

Q) Are KISSHU'S knives supposed to be pink?

A) Is the sky maroon? I didn't think so. They're supposed to be silver, DUH! KISSHU loves your ICHIGO so much, he's dyed his knives pink! Either that or he's gay…. You might want to look into that….

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Q) KISSHU keeps calling himself a—lemme see if I can get it right—Cynoclon Warrior, and keeps asking for people called TARB, and SARDON.

A) You're poor KISSHU has been transformed into the emfamous DREN from 4KIDS. You can do what you see fit with him, because we don't care for DRENS and he will only be sent into a cardiac arrest and die a slow and painful death of needles soaked in barbeque sauce.

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Q) This is sick—my KISSHU is doing things with my MINTO! AHHH!

A) We told you that KISSHU will get with anyone if ICHIGO turns him down enough and/or deeply hurts him. It's your own fault, WE don't know what to do! You could brainwash your ICHIGO to get him back to normal, but we think that's all you can do.

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**WARRANTY:**

**_This clarifies that your KISSHU can be brought back anytime within the fifty point 5869374967295067274 seconds you buy him. _**

HAVE FUN WITH YOUR KISSHU!

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Well, the next chapter is RETASU, which I might need some help with, so please review!

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TMM, but I own T.M.M.M.I


	4. RETASU

**Brought to you by: Tokyo Mew Mew Mia Industries.**

**_CONGRADULATIONS! You are now the proud owner of a RETASU. To be sure that she is working in tip-top saving-the-world condition, allow yourself to read and listen to this manual._**

**INFORMATION YOU MIGHT WANT TO KNOW:**

**Name: **Retasu Midiokawa

**Race:** Japanese, and a little sweetheart

**Height: **Without counting her hair, she's about 5'0

**Weight: **Ooh! Bubbles! MINE! ((pokes the bubbles Retasu used to bribe))

**PUTTING HER TOGETHER:**

You should have gotten a clam tied up and a bow on top of it from Tokyo Mew Mew Mia Industries (T.M.M.M.I). Don't ask us about your RETASU not being there. Your RETASU is fine. She's just living in the clam. She IS a fishie who needs water to live when she's a fishie you know.

1) Remove ropes around the clam. (NOTE: You're RETASU might get scared is she's awake and use her bubble bribing powers, not our fault! If this happens, play with the bubbles until she feels calm and go to step two)

2) Use large wrench to pry bow off from afar.

3) BEFORE you RETASU attacks you for lack of water, because you just opened up the clam that had all the water in it so your carpet is now wet (not our fault either, fishies need water to live, so you should have remembered that), tell her that if she doesn't kill you she can get her own aquarium and put all sorts of piranhas in there (those are her favorite, and won't function correctly without at least five piranhas to keep her company. We don't sell them, and they need to be kept in sea water)

**COOL THINGS YOUR RETASU COMES WITH:**

Scared that you're going to have to buy something for RETASU to stay amused with? Think again. Here are things that come with your RETASU'S come with so she'll be set for all those hours you're spending cleaning up the messes she makes from trying to carry plates around you house.

1) Broom

2) Rope (more on that later)

3) Castanets she won't go ANYWHERE without

4) Rubber bands

5) Hair brush

6) Green-Hair dye

7) Books 5,000 pages thick for her to skim while you're doing all those hard math problems

8) Glasses (also comes with an extra pair just incase pesky PAIs come around and break them) (She needs twice a year eye checkups from you local All-Powerful-Authoress. Just call 1-800-Finally-Need-Help and fork over fifteen dollars. Hey, we gotta make money SOMEHOW!)

9) Mew Mew outfit

10) Work Uniform

11) Extra plates for breaking

12) Three or four sets of regular clothes

13) Pistol

**YOUR RETASU IS BUILT FOR:**

**Lover: **Are you sick as PAI, or even a RYOU? Do you want to start a relationship with this poor girl, though everyone will think you're a little strange? If so, then she's the one you need (Some people have found that after trying this, they have had to live in a bubble for the rest of their lives to survive. No one knows why, but we just know they do.)

**Therapist: **If she's not breaking plates or apologizing to perfectly better-off-left-alone strangers, she gives people advice.

**Homework-Helper: **Actually, she can do you homework for you, but we decided to put that name so it would please the parents and to fool them into you're actually learning something.

**Giving People Bubbles: **Ever seen Finding Nemo? With that little fishie that loves bubbles. She gives people bubbles as bribes to doing stuff. n.n

**Anger Management: **As a matter of fact, she isn't very good at this, since her anger is worse than anyone else's. Why do you think she has a rope with her? Don't cross this girl too many times. O.o

**HOW SHE ACTS WITH OTHER UNITS:**

**ICHIGO: **COMPATIBLE all the time, they became good friends when ICHIGO pushed RETASU into the Jr. High pool one night. RETASU has a bad habit of going up to ICHIGO and shouting gomennasai's for a whole hour for simple things like BREATHING!

**KISSHU: **I suppose it depends on what your RETASU thinks about him from the beginning. We don't really know, go ask her!

**PURIN: **Leave her to TARUTO, that's our advice. (Not responsible for your RETASU coming up to you and suddenly asking what things are that she shouldn't be asking!)

**ZAKURO:** COMPATIBLE! That's all we gotta say….

**MASAYA: What do you think the rope's for?**

**RYOU: **RETASU likes RYOU! But she can't tell him because he likes ICHIGO! So we recommend telling the RYOU yourself before he tries to make a move on KISSHU's ICHIGO.

**MINTO: **MINTO is rich, and has a big kitchen. YES! They're COMPATIBLE!

**KEIICHIRO: **He's suave! She likes his cakes, and he gives them to RETASU whenever she doesn't break something in a whole hour! (Take this as a warning: **THIS HAS ONLY HAPPENED ONCE!**

**PAI: **She's the only one he'll talk to. He'll even defend her. I think that he—((Is stopped because PAI decides to attack before the finished sentence is finished))

**TARUTO: **He's COMPATIBLE, but you should give him a PURIN to keep him occupied.

**TROUBLESHOOTING AND FAQ:**

Q) Why is RETASU'S hair brown?

A) She has clearly lost all her green-hair dye. You must get your local Authoress to make it permanently green, get her more hair dye, or make due with the Brunette RETASU.

**(Space is supposed to be here)**

Q) Something WEIRD is going on! RETASU is having a weird voice, all high-pitched and squeaky. And all of a sudden, she has two stupid attacks that have nothing to do with bubbles! Then she INSISTS that she doesn't deal with bubbles but with water! WHAT'S WRONG?

A) You're poor RETASU has been assassinated and cloned into BRIDGETTE VENDANT! This wretched girl has two attacks just because she attacks so much (due to anger management)! VERY fortunately, this one's easy to fix. Simply take the pistol, shoot the now BRIDGETTE, and then get a whole new RETASU!

**(Space is supposed to be here)**

Q) Is it alright for my RETASU and KISSHU to be doing things together?

A) We should think that KISSHU would have nothing to do with the girl, but she's ICHIGO's friend so he puts up with her. If he gets "feelings" for her, it's accidental, and as long as RYOU and PAI are alright with it, it'll make everyone happy until MINTO or ICHIGO get jealous.

**WARRANTY:**

**_This clarifies that your RETASU will never turn shonjouai unless you tell her she can. This also lets you get a whole new RETASU in case of 4Kids break in, loss of hair, nose, and/or teeth, or bubble-gum chewing addiction._**

HAVE FUN WITH YOUR RETASU!

Well, the next chapter is PURIN, which I will LOVE typing, so please review!

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TMM, but I own T.M.M.M.I


	5. PURIN

**Brought to you by: Tokyo Mew Mew Mia Industries.**

**_CONGRADULATIONS! You are now the proud owner of a PURIN. To be sure that she is working in tip-top saving-the-world condition, allow yourself to read and listen to this manual._**

**INFORMATION YOU MIGHT WANT TO KNOW:**

**Name: **Purin Fon

**Race:** Chinese, Japanses, almost rabid monkey

**Height:** Small

**Weight:** Very very VERY light

**PUTTING HER TOGETHER:**

You should have gotten a wooden box (I think it's called a crate) stapled up and a warning saying "CAUTION! DON'T OPEN!" on top of it from Tokyo Mew Mew Mia Industries (T.M.M.M.I). Don't ask us if your PURIN is rabid or related to the Tasmanian Devil. She's NOT. Your PURIN is fine. She's just eating the box. She IS a monkey who will find things to do if not given anything you know.

1) Find de-stapler or magnet and pry off all the staples.

2) Take piece of cheesecake and put it in front of the crate.

3) Put yo-yo next to cake.

4) Your PURIN should come out and scarf up the cheesecake easily, the use the yo-yo as a rope to climb everywhere.

**COOL THINGS YOUR PURIN COMES WITH:**

Scared that you're going to have to buy something for PURIN to have fun with? Nice going. One: Monkeys are ALWAYS figuring out things to do. Two: Uh… one was about it. Here are things that come with your PURIN'S come with so she'll be set for all those hours you're spending doing the chores and babysitting the siblings and sleeping at night for school the next morning.

1) Pendant

2) Rope

3) Those little rings she can make attack custard with.

4) Razor

5) Laundry basket

6) Big ball

7) Sticks for plates

8) Plates for sticks

9) Mew Mew outfit

10) Work Uniform

11) throat lozenge (NOTICE! These are to be used only for when your PURIN gets to talking SO MUCH that she gets a sore throat. When she runs out you must buy her more.)

12) Three or four sets of regular clothes

13) Okasan/Purin Photo Album (PURIN WILL NOT FUNCTION WITHOUT THIS ALBUM! IF YOU LOSE IT THEN _FIND IT! _If you can't and need your local All-Powerful-Authoress to make you another one just call 1-800-You-Lost-It, then give us five dollars. Arigatou!)

**YOUR PURIN IS BUILT FOR:**

**Lover: **Do you like someone, but they don't like you? PURIN can fix that. She has that little candy-looking-magic-power-thingy and her "magical" words. Give him the candy-looking-magic-power-thingy and he'll/she'll fall in love with you.

**Candy-looking-magic-power-thingy maker: **Lemme tell you, PURINs are good at making those things. It's like they have an infinite amount to give away.

**Entertainer: **We warn you not to use this too much, as it tends to drain your money. But if you're soooo bored you might die then talk to your PURIN then hand over two dollars. She'll entertain you.

**Being Hyper: **She'll get you so hyper, you can get a hangover. Trust me, I know.

**HOW SHE ACTS WITH OTHER UNITS:**

**ICHIGO: **COMPATIBLE all the time, though PURIN wasn't too happy-dorey to find out that ICHIGO kissed her to turn back into a human.

**KISSHU: **He's a friend of Taruto. She deals with him.

**RETASU: **Very entertaining at work, so always compatible!

**ZAKURO:** COMPATIBLE, they're almost like best friends.

**MASAYA: Did anyone say: "Jungle Gym"?**

**RYOU: **PURIN like him! RYOU _pays_ PURIN _money!_

**MINTO: **MINTO is rich, can buy PURIN food and stuff! And MINTO is _very _fun to annoy! ES MUY COMPATIBLE!

**KEIICHIRO: **HE GIVES PURIN CAKE AFTER WORK! SHE LOVES HIM!

**PAI: **Let him count, for all she cares.

**TARUTO: **He's COMPATIBLE, COMPATIBLE, _COMPATIBLE! _Tee-hee. n.n

**TROUBLESHOOTING AND FAQ:**

Q) Why is PURIN'S hair red? Is there something I should know about?

A) She has been malfunctioned, or she's in her teenage years already and she wants something new. Tell her to change it back or make that very appreciative All-Powerful-Authoress in your neighborhood change it permanently.

Q) I'm scared. My PURIN is behaving abnormally. She's too hyper, insists that her family lives in a shelter, and—this is the worst part—she's _obsessed _with trenches! HELP!

A) You're poor PURIN has been kidnapped! She has now been removed and brainwashed into Kikki Benjamin. This horrible girl has her beautiful attack destroyed and turned into a mockery of her monkey-hood. VERY unfortunately, this one's not so easy to fix. You must find a coupon from T.M.M.M.I and turn your now KIKKI BENJAMIN over to us. We will give you a free PURIN to start over with. Or, you can try to unbrainwash this poor brainwashed PURIN that now knows itself as KIKKI.

Q) What if my PURIN and TARUTO don't like each other?

A) You'd think it's just them being ten year olds! But, if they really _hate _each other with a passion, you can always just give them their own love potions, or set up blind dates with each other, or things of the like. We don't know just set it up!

**WARRANTY:**

**_This illustrates that you cannot bring your PURIN back if she has had any relationships of any kind with a lightsaber (long story, just don't let her do it) and that you can bring her back if she gets a little too like Zakuro (purple hair, model, sour disposition, long story also, go along with it)._**

HAVE FUN WITH YOUR PURIN!

Well, the next chapter is ZAKURO, which I will LOVE typing, so please review!

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TMM, but I own T.M.M.M.I


	6. ZAKURO

**Brought to you by: Tokyo Mew Mew Mia Industries.**

**_CONGRADULATIONS! You are now the proud owner of a ZAKURO. To be sure that she is working in tip-top saving-the-world condition, allow yourself to read and listen to this manual._**

**INFORMATION YOU MIGHT WANT TO KNOW:**

**Name: **Fujiwara Zakuro

**Race:** Foreign; speaks Japanese, English, French, German, Chinese, and Spanish; part wolf.

**Height:** 185 cm ((runs away from Zakuro-san's lawyers))

**Weight: **They never said. But I'm guessing—AHH! Law suits! RUN!

**PUTTING HER TOGETHER:**

You should have gotten a large box with a padlock on it from Tokyo Mew Mew Mia Industries (T.M.M.M.I). Don't come up to our already scared clerks asking us if your Zakuro was mistaken for a box. She WASN'T. Your ZAKURO is fine. Your law suits are not needed, she's locked up in the box tightly so she doesn't get all A.W.O.L. on people. She IS a wolf who will want to go away and be solitary for the rest of her life you know.

1) Unlock the padlock with the combination you get with the instructions. If said combo isn't found, then use a hammer and ever so slightly beat the living sun out of that lock.

2) Only open up the box a crack to see if she's awake or asleep. If she's asleep, slip the chain leash on her neck and wake her up. If she's awake, go to 3).

3) Aw great, your ZAKURO was awake, eh? Ok, here's what you do. Hang upside down on the ceiling above the box. Hang the leash about your ZAKURO's height. Then scream, "AHH! A CHIREMAL!" She will instantly stand up, going to save the day. She'll get caught in the chain. Or you could just wait until she's asleep and use 2)….

4) Your ZAKURO will struggle and want to be set free and be alone. Keep her on the chain for two weeks, talking to her all the time. She'll warm up to you and stay after the two weeks are over. (that's when you can take the chain off)

**COOL THINGS YOUR PURIN COMES WITH:**

Peeved that now that you've got your ZAKURO trained, you've got to buy things for her to be slightly amused with? You're partially right. Here are things that come with your ZAKURO so she'll be set for all those hours you're spending not with her.

1) Pendant

2) 4 Evening Gowns

3) Her whip (WARNING! SHE CAN USE THIS AS A REAL WHIP! IF SHE HAS EVER FARCED YOU TO DO WHAT SHE WANTS AND YOU'RE NOT HER SLAVE CALL YOUR LOCAL ALL-POWERFUL-AUTHORESS AND SHE'LL GIVE THE ZAKURO A MEMORY WIPE FOR 12.00!)

4) Cosmetics

5) Hair things

6) Paperwork

7) Cell phone

8) Stage (New: portable version! Take it anywhere that can hold a stage!)

9) Mew Mew outfit

10) Work Uniform

11) Zit treatments (Even models get acne every now and then. But don't tell anyone, those law suits really do hurt….)

12) Three or four sets of regular clothes

13) Shoes

14) MONEY! MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY!

**YOUR ZAKURO IS BUILT FOR:**

**Shunner: **If you're mad at someone, she can shun the daylights out of 'em! And she can make you do it, too! She's the BEST at shunning!

**Fighter: **Everyone knows this unit always packs a powerful punch. If you ever need help with something, she'll fight her way through.

**Model Teacher: **We warn you not to use this too much, you'll turn out just like her. Purple hair, 185 cm, purple/brownish eyes, Mew Mew powers. We're not kidding. That kid over there in New Jersey used to be Kelly Strain, but now she's one of the Zakuro clones….

**Changing Sides: **She'll get you to change sides so many times, you'll be more confused than a mouse in a maze.

**HOW SHE ACTS WITH OTHER UNITS:**

**ICHIGO: **Ehhh…. She's loud and annoying and always getting into trouble. "Chekiyou no mirai ni, gohoshi suru NYAN!" Is about all she says. She even says it in her sleep. It's like she's practicing for it.

**KISSHU: **He tried to hurt the oh-so-adorable Momoka, I'd say NOT COMPATIBLE!

**RETASU: **She's always saying, "I'm sorry!" if she's not breaking anything. It gets on ZAKURO's nerves. But other times she's COMPATIBLE.

**PURIN:** She jumps around a lot, but she's mostly COMPATIBLE

**MASAYA: How do you think Zakuro got so good at fighting? ((holds up bloody and beaten up MASAYA))**

**RYOU: **RYOUs pay ZAKUROs money. (Warning! We suggest that you confiscate this money to pay for the survival of your ZAKURO! She's quite expensive….)

**MINTO: **MINTO is annoying, and thinks that ZAKURO is a goddess in human form. ZAKUROs tolerate MINTOs, so COMPATIBLE.

**KEIICHIRO: **Some people who own ZAKURO units try to pair her with KEIICHIRO units, while others try to make her kill him. (If you make her kill him while she's loving him, you get a really dysfunctional ZAKURO unit)

**PAI: **READ KEIICHIRO!

**TARUTO: **She tolerates him because PURIN likes him, so he's a little COMPATIBLE.

**TROUBLESHOOTING AND FAQ:**

Q) Why are ZAKURO's eyes blue? What's going on?

A) She has been malfunctioned, or she's trying something new. Ask her. But be careful, if she's malfunctioning she might explode. If you find her in a pile on the ground you might want to try to call your All-Powerful-Authoress again to get her fixed. This only costs five dollars, since it happens so often.

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Q) I woke up one day and the cross necklace that my ZAKURO wears was gone! In its place there was a necklace with a weird lookin' stick on it. And she never talks much anymore. Even when she attacks, which I find strange, since the others do.

A) Oh my, this is bad, very, very bad indeed. Your ZAKURO is in trouble! She's been turned into Renee Roberts! CALL THAT ALL-POWERFUL-AUTHORESS ONCE MORE! We've experimented, and that's the only way you can actually get your ZAKURO back. The new All-Powerful-Authoresses are taught how to de-dub things, and the old ones have a manual that the memorize. Since this happens MORE often than the blue eyes, it's free. 1-800-DE-DUB-NOW.

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Q) Who should I place my ZAKURO with? PAI? KEIICHIRO? Possibly even MINTO?

A) That's up to you to decide. But if the one you want her to pair with is being troublesome and won't go with it, then you're going to have to either change your points of views on some pairings or make them be together and they'll get used to it sooner or later.

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**WARRANTY:**

_**This states that you cannot sue us for anything that happens to your ZAKURO when it's in your possession. Once you buy it it's no longer our problem. But we can give you a coupon to buy a PAI, KEIICHIRO, or MASAYA (since we need to get rid of those,) half-off!**_

HAVE FUN WITH YOUR ZAKURO!

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I don't know which one I'll do for the next chapter! I'll think of something, though, so please review!

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TMM, but I own T.M.M.M.I


	7. We Interrupt This Broadcast

**We Interrupt This Broadcast For A Special Announcement:**

**HOLD EVERYTHING! Anilucard called me with questions about her Ichigo. T.M.M.M.I will now answer her questions in long, detailed answers. **

Q: What if my ICHIGO becomes obsessed over my Vampire Kitty Masaya doll?

A: Well, if the doll is one of your prized possessions, you should take it away from her and tell her you burned it in a fire. She should mourn for three days, turn into a cat for one hour, then will be fine and obsess about something else. But you must NEVER let her see them again! She'll go _right _back to being obsessed! Or, if you don't like the doll very much, you could burn it…. Or if worse comes to worse, you could get her a memory wipe! You'd have to take it to a special kind of All-Powerful-Authoress shop that's only allowed in China, so in the long run you'd have to call on another All-Powerful-Authoress to get you to China, unless you _are _one, then you can get there yourself. These special Authoresses are a little inexpensive and you must call for an appointment before hand. 1-800-LOSE-THAT-MEMORY.

Q: What do I do? My ICHIGO has developed feelings for my KEIICHIRO, even though I've been trying so hard for a ICHIGO-RYOU pairing. I tried the recommended method for ICHIGO-RYOU, but ICHIGO keeps punching RYOU and saying "Stop! I'm in love with MINI-MEW!" And whenever she sees KEIICHIRO she pounces on him. What do I do? I even tried my Almighty Authoress Powers, but they won't work!

A: Here's what you do: ((cracks knuckles)) Stand in front of a closet, then scream. Your ICHIGO should come to see what's wrong. Say you saw a butterfly in there and you're deathly scared of them. She'll get a big head and go in there ready to get rid of the big mean nasty butterfly. SHUT THE DOOR ON HER! Stand in front of the closet for half an hour or until she stops struggling and sits down. Then yell, "AHH! FIRE!" RYOU will come running to you and ask what's wrong. Say, "ICHIGO is in the closet and is on FIRE!" RYOU should open the door. SHOVE HIM IN THERE! Now, since RYOU is stronger than ICHIGO, place a chair under the knob so they can't get out. Then go into your attic, cut a small hold over the closet, and crop some food in there. Tell them they can't come out until they love each other. (CAUTION! THIS MIGHT TAKE FROM ONE WEEK TO FOUR MONTHS! PLEASE DON'T FORGET THAT YOU UNITS ARE STILL IN THE CLOSET AND FORGET TO FEED THEM!) If that doesn't work, then buy the Love Potion from a local PURIN! Those always work!

Q: Why are my ICHIGO's eyes silver?

A: Did she get contacts? Either that or no sleep. Now, this is my favorite one. If your ICHIGO gets sick, call 1-800-HATORI-SOHMA and he'll come and diagnose her! YAY! HATORI-SAN! He can diagnose them, but he can't treat them. You have to go to an All-Powerful-Authoress to get her un-sick. If nothing happens and they're still silver, either change her favorite color to silver or get her contacts.

**Phew! Glad that's out of the way! I can't let a person with questions like that go! And I think I just set myself up for a bunch of questions…. Oh well! I'll update soon!**


	8. PAI

**Brought to you by: Tokyo Mew Mew Mia Industries.**

_**CONGRADULATIONS! You are now the proud owner of a PAI. To be sure that he is working in tip-top counting-the-world-to-death condition, allow yourself to read and listen to this manual.**_

**INFORMATION YOU MIGHT WANT TO KNOW:**

**Name: **Pai Countsalot

**Race:** Half Alien; Half Computer

**Height: **I can't get close enough. Every time I try I hear the counting and I go unconscious for a few days.

**Weight:** Look at the Height

**PUTTING HIM TOGETHER:**

You should have gotten an enormous computer with a password-lock on it from Tokyo Mew Mew Mia Industries (T.M.M.M.I). Don't shout at us that your PAI was disintegrated and turned into a computer. WE WILL SEDATE YOU. Your PAI is fine. He's just stuck inside the compter. You didn't think we would deliver him straight to you, huh? He IS an alien who likes to count more than he does drink you know.

1) Press the big red button in the middle of the computer for the password screen to turn up.

2) Type in your password.

3) Your PAI will come out of the computer and try to use it to count with. But he doesn't have the password.

4) Tell him if he doesn't kill you you'll give him the password to the computer. When/IF he agrees (**CAUTION: The IF sometimes happens) **then give him the password. He will associate you with OWNER.

**COOL THINGS YOUR PAI COMES WITH:**

Unnerved now that you've got your PAI in custody, you've got to get things for him to count with? WRONG! Here are things that come with your PAI so he'll be set for all those hours you're spending not doing the "cool" thing and counting.

1) Fan

2) Computer

3) Laptop

4) Cool-cord-thingies-that-he-can-attach-to-little-fluffy-flying-things

5) Abacus

6) Calculator

7) Formula Chart

8) Notebook **(WARNING: IF THIS RUNS OUT, YOU _MUST _BUY HIM ANOTHER ONE. HE WON'T FUNCTION WITHOUT HIS NOTEBOOK!)**

9) List of ways to kill people

10) Poket full of Chiremals

11) Money

12) Rubber bands

13) Purple hair dye

**YOUR PAI IS BUILT FOR:**

**Being Smart: **Are you not so smart on the I.Q. Scale? Well, he can make up for that.

**Planning War: **Not good at planning war? That's just fine. Ask your PAI to; he'll be glad to help.

**Torturing small-flying-fluffy-thingies-that-eat-Chiremals: **Yes, he has the means to torture poor little creatures for information. Good to use if your ZAKURO disappears and your MASHA won't tell you where she's gone.

**HOW HE ACTS WITH OTHER UNITS:**

**ICHIGO: **NOT COMPATIBLE. She doesn't count anything.

**KISSHU:** COMPATIBLE because they're partners.

**RETASU: **COMPATIBLE she doesn't count but she's cute. **(WARNING: WE DO NOT RECOMMEND TEACHING YOUR PAI TO THINK THIS WAY. IF HE AT ALL BECOMES DISFUNCTIONAL OR DILLUSIONAL, DON'T LOOK AT US. YOU MUST CALL THE ALL-POWERFUL-AUTHORESS STATION AT 1-800-PUT-PAI-BACK.)**

**PURIN:** NOT COMPATIBLE! PURINs mess up PAI's abacus.

**MASAYA: NOT COMPATIBLE! Well, I mean, _my _PAI liked to take MASAYA apart and count his bones, but it's your money.**

**RYOU: **NOT COMPATIBLE! RYOU has a habit of stealing RETASU from PAI

**MINTO: **MINTO doesn't even know HOW to count, so NOT COMPATIBLE!!!!

**KEIICHIRO: **NOT COMPATIBLE! KEIICHIRO is in the race for ZAKURO'S affection!

**ZAKURO: **COMPATIBLE in a million ways. Throw the book of "Opposites Attract" out the window because they're EXACTLY ALIKE!

**TARUTO: **Look under PURIN.

**TROUBLESHOOTING AND FAQ:**

Q) I HAVE BAD BAD NEWS! My ZAKURO and PAI have gone missing and the last time I saw them they were saying "hi" to me and saying their names were Renee and Sardon!! (O.o) Help me please and—oh yeah….you're invited to their wedding and here is invitation and it says that Renee and Sardon are going to get married so ((sob)) this is it…. ((sob sob sob sob sob sobs))—**Spider Fairy**

A) Fortunately, this in is simple to fix. Simply go up to your PAI-turned-SARDON and tell him that his name makes no sense. After you stare at their confused looks for a moment, simply explain that if DREN means NERD, TARB means BRAT, then SARDON has to be NODRAS. Then go right ahead and proceed to ask him what the HELL a nodras is. When he can't tell you, he'll realize you're right and he'll return to his PAI status. (Unfortunately, you must use the ZAKURO instructions for finding a way from the RENEE ROBERTS syndrome) As for the wedding invite, I accept only if it is ZAKURO FUJIWARA and PAI COUNTSALOT getting married, since I have a nasty habit of _bombing_ dubbed marriages.

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Q) AHHHH!! HELP!! PAI'S HAIR IS BLONDE! What's with THAT?!

A) He must have run out of purple hair-dye. You see, PAI gets tired of all the blonde jokes made to him so he makes his hair purple. Throws people off a bit, it does. Simply buy him more or locate your local All-Powerful-Authoress to fix the problem. Unfortunately, this one isn't permanent, and getting PAI hair fixed by All-Powerful-Authoresses is highly addictive to PAIs.

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Q) I see strange units! ((Twilight Zone music)) PAI has been hanging around my ICHIGO a lot. I thought you said they were NOT COMPATIBLE! What's the deal?

A) There are rather strange cases when in fact the PAI will teach the ICHIGO to like counting and she will turn into a little scientific nerd and fall hopelessly in love with PAI, making your KISSHU commit suicide and your RETASUs and ZAKUROs drink themselves into a stupor. (We provide units of T.M.M.M.I. with top-notch unit-alcohol.) We should suggest that you avoid this little problem. If anything should happen, send your ICHIGO off to a nunnery for a few weeks and she'll come back so full of celibacy KISSHU will be just _dying _to break her.

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**WARRANTY:**

**_This states that you will receive a new abacus every year around Christmas time so you have something to give your PAI, for he can never have enough things to count._**

HAVE FUN WITH YOUR PAI!

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Next is RYOU! Let the questions commence! n.n

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TMM, but I own T.M.M.M.I


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